After I visited Nedda in New York City in late January 1959, we wrote to each other frequently and called each other occasionally. I was smitten. I invited her to come to Syracuse for Spring Weekend, which was probably late April or early May. She had applied to Oswego State College, located about an hour north of Syracuse, and I offered to drive her there to view the campus if she came for the weekend. To my surprise and delight, her parents agreed, and I arranged for her to be a guest at the new Mount Olympus women's dormitory (known by some as "Kike's Peak" because of the high percentage of Jewish residents).
I met Nedda at the airport on Friday. We never went to the Spring Weekend dance, but we eventually went parking at the Water Tower. This popular parking spot, which overlooks the campus, was constantly patrolled by police cars, shining their spotlights into the cars.
While we originally intended to drive to Oswego on Saturday, as I am sure that Nedda's parents expected, we instead spent most of the day at Green Lakes State Park, and she flew home on Sunday morning. We had really bonded that weekend. I found her to be witty, cheerful, affectionate, perceptive, and someone with whom I felt completely at ease.
Although we wrote and spoke to each other more frequently, I didn't see her again until after my college graduation in early June. Shortly after I returned home, I started driving to New York most weekends. By this time, I was staying at her parents' apartment when I visited, and her parents drove me to the airport when I left for my six-month active duty at Fort Benjamin Harris in Indianapolis.
I had become friendly with Richard Bryan, who grew up in Nevada and hadn't been east since he was a child. One week, I called Nedda and said I was going to come in for a weekend and bring my friend along – could she get him a date? She said that she could and on Friday Dick and I signed ourselves out for the weekend (no permission was needed: just sign VOCO which meant "verbal order from commanding officer.) Dick drove us to Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio as I had researched that there was the "kitty hawk flight" that went from Wright Patterson to Mitchell Field just outside of New York. All that would be required was that we had to be in Class A Uniform. We arrived too late, but for $2.00 we could get a room in the visiting officers' BOQ, which included a free drink at the officers' club. Early the next morning, Saturday, we hitched a ride in a troop transport airplane that was taking an Air National Guard unit to Mitchell Field, and Nedda's parents picked us up. That evening, Nedda, her friend Nancy, Dick, and I went out for the evening, but on Sunday, we had to take a commercial flight back to Indianapolis.
Nedda started college that fall at SUNY Oswego in upstate New York. I was given some time off in early fall after completing an advanced course. I went home, but one weekend I drove to Oswego. Nedda's parents gave the college permission to let her go overnight with me to see a Syracuse University football game. (We stayed the night in separate rooms at the Onondaga Hotel.)
After my active-duty time was over in January, I first went to California and met up with my parents, who were visiting my sister, Lelia, and her family. I flew back to New York to start my job hunt. My father had arranged a bank loan for me so that I could replace my 1954 Mercury. I bought a 1958 Oldsmobile and soon drove to Syracuse to see if they could furnish me with appropriate job leads. I had scored high on the NYS Professional Careers Test that I took in my senior year and could have readily obtained a job with the state, but I didn't want to become a bureaucrat. Syracuse is an easy drive to Oswego, so naturally, I spent the weekend with Nedda. On Saturday night, we went for a drive, and I pulled off the pavement on a county highway to park for a while. As it was nearing her dormitory curfew, I started back but found that the passenger wheels were stuck in deep snow, and I couldn't get back on the road. This was before the era of cell phones, and I needed a tow truck. I remembered that I had passed a farm about a quarter of a mile back, so I left Nedda in the car with the engine running for heat, and I walked back to the farmhouse. I knocked on the door, which was answered by a man in overalls. I asked where I could get a tow truck, and he had no suggestion and seemed disinterested in my plight. As I was about to leave, I noticed an army jacket hanging near the door and asked if he was in the Army Reserves or the National Guard. He said he was a sergeant in the Army National Guard. I told him that I was an Army Reserve lieutenant and had just come off active duty. Immediately, his manner changed, and he went to his barn and brought out a tractor and a chain. He towed my car back on the highway and refused my offer of payment. We made it back to her dorm just before curfew.
Nedda decided that she didn't want to be an elementary school teacher and instead enrolled in the Speedwriting Secretarial School upon her return from Oswego. After completing the course, she found a job in Manhattan. I had already given up hope of finding a suitable job, and by late March 1960, I had enrolled at Albany Law School for the fall semester. [I was collecting unemployment insurance based on my Army Reserve service, and the unemployment insurance counsellor told me that since I was going to law school, not even to bother looking for a job, my unemployment insurance would continue until the start of the law school semester in September. I spent the summer helping my father at Jack's Place and spending weekends with Nedda. At first, I would drive to New York and stay at her parents' apartment in the Bronx, but finally we decided that she should come to Nassau and meet my family.
Nedda always enjoyed wearing makeup. When she first met my father, his first words to her were to the effect: "Get that crap off your face. She was wearing her usual black eyeliner. She didn't. We had a routine that summer. We mostly alternated between my going to New York City and her taking the Greyhound to Albany on weekends. When I went to New York that summer, we spent many days at the beach. One
weekend, Nedda and her parents had a short vacation at the Painted Pony Dude Ranch in Lake George, and I would join them daily.
Once my law school classes started, the trips were less frequent, but we got together at least monthly. Law school was stressful for me. I was a poor-performing undergraduate at Syracuse University and lacked confidence in my ability to handle the rigors of law school. At the time, Albany Law School did not provide grades to first-year students during the year, so I had no way to assess my performance. First-year students received their first and only grades on the Fourth of July weekend, at which time approximately half of the class was notified that they had failed and were unable to continue. I easily passed, eventually graduating in the top quarter of my class.
Although I always planned to marry Nedda after we spent Spring Weekend together, I had never felt confident that I would be able to support a wife. However, once my path to becoming an attorney became clear, Nedda and I started discussing marriage as a reachable goal. She was discontent with living at home and working, and our weekend visits were less frequent due to my study schedule. Finally, in the middle of my second year, we decided to announce our engagement. I could not afford an engagement ring, however, and rejected an offer from her parents for a loan or gift to purchase one for her, saying that I would when I could afford one. [Actually, I finally bought her a diamond for our twenty-fifth anniversary.]
Although we were engaged, we thought we would get married after I finished law school and became an attorney. However, after attending the wedding of one of my classmates shortly after the first-year grades were announced, we decided to get married that summer. My parents were about to move into their new house, and they agreed that we could use their old house rent-free. Nedda's parents quickly made arrangements for a catered wedding at a Bronx facility for mid-August. We assumed that many relatives thought there was a “reason” we married so quickly, out of necessity, but that was not the case.
Our wedding ceremony took place on Saturday evening, August 19, 1961. We planned a short honeymoon, driving through Canada to Niagara Falls. When we left the facility, I realized I hadn't made any reservations for our wedding night. I stopped at a couple of motels as we drove towards the Taconic Parkway, but there were no vacancies. We drove all the way back to Nassau that night, stopping only for coffee at a diner, and then spent the night in my parents' former house, which would be our home until shortly before our son, David, was born in July 1964.
With just a short time between our return from our honeymoon and the start of law school classes, our immediate goal was to find employment for Nedda. I drove her to various interviews, and she soon was offered employment in the dye laboratory of General Analine & Film Corporation in Rensselaer. I believe that her starting salary was $109 per week, but she was required to join the AFL-CIO Chemical Workers' Union. I drove her to work on my way to school and picked her up at the end of her shift. She held that job until shortly before David was born, and her weekly earnings exceeded my initial salary as an attorney.
Living in Nassau had both advantages and disadvantages. Rent was free, and I believe that my parents paid for fuel oil and electricity. We had their old furniture, and gasoline was free for the taking. My mother was always happy to have us stop by for dinner, and we frequently took her up on her continuing offer. The sixteen-mile drive to and from Albany was tiring, and Nedda had to be at work by 8:00 am. My Oldsmobile was starting to have problems, and as a gift from Nedda's parents, we purchased a new Volkswagen Bug, which was economical, good in snow, but cold in the winter. I did not study at the law school library as much as I should have. I had to leave each workday in time to pick up Nedda at 5:00 pm, and I didn't want to leave her home alone on weekends. The house was old and in disrepair. In the winter, snow would sometimes blow through the bedroom window, and there was a hole in the bathroom floor between the toilet and the bathtub, and you could see the cellar if you looked.
The summer following our marriage, we decided to get a dog. My uncle Max had a dog that had a litter of puppies. My Uncle Harry wanted the male puppy, but we beat him to it, and we named the p
uppy Wendell. Since we were away during weekdays, Wendell spent days at Jack’s Place and soon became a favorite of the family and the customers. Wendell grew large enough to stand at the bar, and my father provided him with a clean ashtray of water. Frequently, customers would buy a hot dog for Wendell. We were unable to bring Wendell with us when we moved to an apartment shortly before David’s birth, and Wendell remained with my parents and sister. He would usually stay in the bar until he decided that it was time to close, and then he would bark until my father started to close the bar. Unfortunately, Wendell went out to meet his girlfriend and fell asleep in the middle of Route 20 one night and was struck and killed by a truck.
We socialized with other married couples. Nedda met other wives at social events, and the college had a Wives Club. We were most friendly with Don and Anne and went with them to Thatcher Park and even went ice fishing on Sacandaga Reservoir. The annual Christmas Party was a highly intoxicated affair, with each student receiving a 5th of liquor. Even some of the faculty drank to excess.
As an Army Reserve officer, I was obligated to attend weekly drill meetings and a two-week summer camp. However, because I was a student, I received a deferral from attending weekly meetings and could instead take Army correspondence courses. Rather than spending time away from law studies, Nedda took the courses and became very knowledgeable about military matters, including biological warfare and various types of mines and weapons.
I graduated from law school in early June 1963. Nedda bought me a leather briefcase as a graduation present, which left us $50.00 in our bank account. I spent the next six weeks studying for the New York bar exam and then went searching for employment.
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